Entry 17-and another thing!

This will probably be an entry I don't share with your mother, because it deals with after Dad. Your Mom and I have saved fairly wisely over the years so money should not be an issue. The extra four years I stayed working for the state and crisis will be beneficial in terms of retirement. Jem and Jules I know Mom will help you till you are established. If Zach and EJ ever need help I know she'll be there for them. I am far more concerned about how your mother handles my death. We've been together for thirty-five years. We know each other's deepest hopes and dreams. I know there will be grief and a sense of loss. I hope you kids are able to comfort her and each other. PLEASE don't let her become a perpetual widow. That type of mourning is not how I want to be remembered. Your Mom probably will be a fairly young widow with many healthy years and opportunities. I hope you make her grand babies to spoil and outrageously love. I hope you visit her often and encourage her to travel. If she finds a man to love and who loves her accept him into our family. I don't want your mother to be alone. Although I'll be royally pissed if you ever call him Dad. I guess one of the points of these blogs has been to prepare you for after Dad by sharing anecdotes of my life, ideas of my character, and my truest voice. On reflection losing a parent is always a surprise and invariably sad. I have told your Mom I want a real Irish wake with music, dancing, food, laughter, a crowd of family and friends. If people say afterwards,"Now that was a party!", I'll be well pleased. I don't care about a eulogy. My legacy is you kids. I do want some of my ashes spread across one of the high places I have loved. I know Zach, Joe, Keith, and Richard will find the right place. When the time comes I want your Mom, Jules, and EJ to sing me home.Jem I'd ask you to sing or hike but I know you really wouldn't want to do either. I want you to dance at my wake with grace and joy. I also would like you all to go to Maui with Mom. Its a place we have so loved. Its where we hoped to retire for a while. She will find the best place to settle some of my ashes.A spot where you can imagine me luxuriating in the island's beauty. The thought of you all sharing a Hawaiian sunset fills me with joy. I know this blog is the ultimate buzz kill, but hopefully it will be helpful. Jules stop crying I am far from giving up on this life (see Blog 16). Hey how about those Red Sox!Love you all, Dad